Recently I’ve been riding a wave of
positivity, and it is fantastic. A lot of my self-doubts have been diminished
in the last two weeks. I have renewed confidence in my own talents and
abilities, but more than that, I have become extremely proud. Not of myself,
but of the company I keep. I am surrounded by the most amazing people, and
cheesy as it sounds, I’ve just been walking around with this protective bubble
of love around me:
My friends in Chicago are taking
the city by storm, doing incredible things, and I am so proud of them.
My friends at NAU are blowing my
mind with the talent they display in their capstone projects.
My Modern Drama class inspires me
every single day; it is a safe place to explore ideas that I have long kept to
myself. In Theatre History last year, Mac told us that we could be the next
group to alter theatre, and I thought, “Ha! That’s likely.” But this same group
of people is now engaging in heavy conversation about gender, race, sexuality,
discrimination, and I leave that class thinking, “Yeah. My colleagues are going
to change the world.”
On top of
all that, I’ve gotten to be in a mainstage. After four years at NAU, three
years in the Theatre Department, and only three auditions, I was cast. I worked
my tail off to get to where I am today, and I’m proud of that. At the start of
the rehearsal process I felt like I was WAY out of my league, and Mac had made
a mistake in casting me. (Truth be told, I still feel like that sometimes
because the caliber of this cast is so outstanding.) But I feel like I’ve come
into my own, and I think I’ve done a good job. And I am so incredibly blessed
that I get to share that with an amazing cast and SM team, but also with my
non-theatre friends. A lot of them came to the show last night, and I feel like
they finally understand why I do what I do.
Deb: And it’s like God telling me to quit trying so hard.
All my life I thought if I just worked harder, tried harder, managed better, it
would all make sense. It ain’t that way at all. Ya’ gotta give up. I was
grabbing everything I could hold on to with a death grip and what I really had
to do is let go!”
It’s my senior year, and then I have one year left of
college. I am so appreciative of my experiences here. It started out pretty
rocky, but I have a solid foundation now. Sometimes I get overwhelmingly
excited about the future, and about teaching my future students, and seeing
what my friends will do once they’ve jumped into a bigger pond. I am so proud
to know all of you.
Nothing but love,
J
