The Relativity of Time is a Funny Thing

Today is my 24^th birthday, and I’m feeling oddly reflective. Birthday reflections are normal, I suppose, but this feels different. This is the first birthday in a while that has felt daunting. 

24. 

What a big age. I know in terms of relativity and future hindsight, I am still in my youth. I know my 30-, 40-, and 50-year old selves will look back on this, shake their heads, and softly chuckle. But right now 24 feels imposing. It is an age that is pushing me past childhood, much more so than my 18^th birthday. 24 is a dividing line between my growing up years and my venture into adulthood. I miss the familiarity of routine that my college years offered, but I am hungry for the development of new patterns. I am pushing myself beyond my comfort zones, and it is paying off. I am finding out who I am apart from my family and friends. 

I think everyone should live someplace completely new at least once in their life. I have had to dig deep for courage and strength and rely on my own sheer will to just keep moving. I think I walk with my head a bit higher now, confident in the knowledge that I have a fire always burning inside. Despite their efforts, Circumstance and Doubt have not managed to extinguish it. With all that in mind, and with the hope that this post might serve as motivation for myself in the future, I have compiled a list of things I have learned, re-learned, and been reminded of over the last year.

24 Lessons I've (Re)Learned in the Last Year (In No Particular Order)

1. I am worthy of love.
2. I am skilled at my work.
3. I love the line of work I am in.
4. I am strong enough to stand on my own.
5. I am stronger when I am with people I love.
6. I am absolutely, unequivocally a Southwestern girl.
7. Mountains stir my soul in a way no other landform can.
8. My friends are wicked talented.
9. Adventures, however small or grand, make me happy.
10. Cooking for people is better than cooking for myself.
11. Experimenting with flavors in the kitchen is fun and rewarding.
12. I am bad at following through on non-"responsibility" tasks. This means things like keeping up with friends and family, relaxing, exploring, etc. fall by the wayside. I'd like to improve on this in the coming year.
13. Of all the activities in which I take part, calling a show brings me the most consistent joy.
14. I am braver than I believe.
15. I am deeply loved.
16. I have surrounded myself with a circle of people I love and trust.
17. I am unwilling to let go of said people.
18. The best adventures and lessons come when I allow myself to be surprised.
19. My family is ridiculously supportive and loving. I am convinced I have one of the best in the world.
20. I love to read and sing and laugh and dance.
21. I have been granted a voice I should utilize more often.
22. Who/what has power in my life is determined solely by me. An alteration in my frame of mind can make a world of difference.
23. Risks almost always pay off. I have yet to regret something I have done more than something I haven't.
24. I am blessed beyond measure.

Reunited, and It Feels SO Good!

August 10, 2015

Seattle Airport

The last 48 hours have been the best of the summer. I was reunited with my Buttercup, my beautiful Mamie. She and I have been through loads, and I absolutely adore her. When she tugged on my shirt from behind in an elevator filled with strangers, I unabashedly jumped on top of her and pulled her into an embrace. The volume of my squeal did not cross my mind, and I didn’t care at all what people thought of my less-than-demure display of affection for one of my best friends in the entire world. We ate breakfast together and the morning bled into afternoon. Mamie’s boyfriend Chris joined us and listened to my tales from Gloucester with (perhaps feigned) interest. Over the course of the day he received my official stamp of approval. And as if spending the day with Mamie wasn’t enough, we got to see two of our close friends marry each other.

I adore this woman!

Stephanie and Jonny each hold a very special place in my heart. Stephanie and I lived together for two years, and Jonny was one of my first and closest friends at NAU. And they fell in love and got married, and I’m so blessed to have witnessed it. The ceremony was beautiful and intimate, which meant Jonny and Stephanie actually got to spend time with all of their guests (what a concept!). Of course, Mamie was not the only NAU alum in attendance. We had a mini Lutheran Campus Ministry reunion, and it was wonderful to catch up in person.

The LCM crew!

And as if seeing my old friends wasn’t enough, all of this took place in beautiful Washington state. The landscape is breathtaking, and I cannot accurately describe the peace that settled over my soul when I was reunited with mountains and pine forests of grandeur. True, they’re not my Arizona mountains, but they are distinctly western all the same. Even seeing store names I recognized (Safeway, Wells Fargo) calmed me.

What a beautiful setting for a wedding!

The view from my hike in Point Defiance Park

It’s not as if I’m having a horrible time in Gloucester—not by a long shot. But moving to a new place without anyone I know, with no semblance of home or routine has been more difficult than I care to admit. I miss my people. And this weekend I got to see some of them. They really are my people. They know my story and I know theirs. More importantly, I love them, they love me, and we all know it. I’m not nervous around them, I don’t have to put on airs around them. Quite simply, I get to be myself. I laughed and smiled and loved more than I have since graduation. I needed this rejuvenation, and I am so grateful for it.

As a super-fantastic-bonus, I got to spend a few hours with my cousin Helen and her family. She cooked a delicious meal and it was so wonderful to spend time with family. Feeling truly blessed after this weekend’s adventures!

 Tacoma Narrows Bridge! I heard SO much about this bridge while I lived with Stephanie. I was very excited to cross it. (Don't document bridges while driving, folks.)

 Here lizard, lizard!!

 I think it's really cool that God took the time to make this beautiful place. If I didn't know about the Cascadia Subduction Zone, I would move here. But geological disasters freak me out.