Saturday, December 5, 2015

Enough is Enough

I've seen a lot of posts on social media lately that tick me off. I tend to sit and allow the anger in the pit of my stomach to unknot itself before deciding whether or not to respond. Usually, I continue scrolling and choose to spend my energy highlighting the more well-thought and thorough posts. But today I saw someone invoke the words of George Washington as an argument against gun control, and I had to respond. I didn't wait this time for the anger to unknot--this is coming to you fresh from my fiery gut. 

The quote used is this:
"A free people ought not only be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government."

First of all, it's not an accurate quote. Mt. Vernon researchers say so. But we'll get to that later. Let's look at the words you invoked as a supposed counter-argument to people's cries and demands for something to be done in the wake of mass shootings occurring in this country.

The quote says we should be armed AND DISCIPLINED. Please explain to me how entering a school and shooting 20 6-7 year olds demonstrates discipline. And just so we are utterly clear in our understanding of each other and this doesn't become a debate about semantics, let's use Merriam-Webster's definition of the word to guide us. (That's right, I'm invoking a poor writing tool, because this discussion has spiraled that far.) 


discipline  
: control that is gained by requiring that rules or orders be obeyed and punishing bad behavior
: a way of behaving that shows a willingness to obey rules or orders
: behavior that is judged by how well it follows a set of rules or orders

Did you catch the first word of the definition? "Control". Control is the thing we're missing most when it comes to guns in this country. No one is trying to take away your right to own a gun. Keep it. Keep your rifles and your handguns if you want. Go hunting if that's something you enjoy. But why do you need to own a military-grade weapon? What war are you fighting? I'm trying to protect innocent people's right to life, including yours. 

This is the part where you say, "But the quote also says we should have sufficient arms and ammunition". You're right, it does say that. But it says you should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from abusers. So remind me again, how are college students infringing on your independence? How are movie-goers stepping on your freedom? 

They're not. And you don't have any argument that can suggest otherwise. If you want to invoke that quote to support your right to shoot someone, that someone better be proactively attacking or repressing you or be a member of the government. That's what your quote says. That's why the founding fathers wrote the second amendment--to protect the people from a tyrannous government, not to give people a free pass. So if your real problem is with the senators, then take the fight to them. People attending school or the movies or a grocery store have nothing to do with your issue.

In my junior year of college I received Active Shooter and Crisis Training as part of my education. Do you realize how ridiculous that is? As a stage manager and as a teacher, it is my job to protect my coworkers, audiences, and students from armed gunmen. Every time I walk into a new place of work, I look for emergency exits and places to hide. I review my training so that when I'm involved in a shooting, I'll know what to do. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Part of my training to become a history teacher involved learning how to strategically place my students so that a shooter would be less likely to hit all of them. 

Now that I've broken down that "quote" let's talk about what George Washington actually said.
Here's the actual quote from which the above is likely derived:


"A free people ought not only to be armed, but disciplined; to which end a uniform and well-digested plan is requisite; and their safety and interest require that they should promote such manufactories as tend to render them independent of others for essential, particularly military, supplies." 
The beginning of the quote is the same, but Washington goes on to say a plan needs to be in place in order to have the people armed and disciplined. Maybe a plan such as screenings and required trainings. Perhaps some mild restrictions on the types of weapons that can be purchased. (What's next, torpedoes? Bazookas?) The rest of the quote says that people should promote institutions that will not require them to rely on others for supplies. Within the historical context of this quote, Washington is probably talking about making sure the government is not the sole supplier of military goods so that if the people need to rise up in revolution, they will have the means to do so.

All of this has been to say a few things:
      1. Check your sources.
      2. This quote does support the 2nd Amendment.
      3. The 2nd Amendment (or the rest of the Constitution for that matter) does not support the factors at play which are allowing more mass shootings than days in a year to take place in the supposedly free-est country on the planet.
     4. Crying, "Yes, but..." in the wake of fear, loss, and grief is heinous and irresponsible. Someone lost their son, sister, friend, life partner. And they are processing. And some of us are trying our damnedest to carry on and put light into this world in spite of the darkness. So please, before you post another inaccurate, flippant meme or soundbite or what have you, think about the principles and freedoms you claim to hold so dear. And think about if your actions actually support those principles or not.

Friday, November 13, 2015

Speak Up, and Be Kind

By now, I'm sure most of you are aware of what happened in Paris. Another violent attack against innocent people. Many have turned to social media to express their thoughts, and I now join in. I drafted a blog post a few weeks ago after the shooting that occurred at my alma matter, Northern Arizona University. But I couldn't put into words my frustration and pain. Some of my friends could, though, and it brought me comfort. I was comforted by the artists posting and embodying Leonard Bernstein's quote, "This will be our reply to violence: to make music more intensely, more beautifully, more devotedly than ever before." Though I hate the frequency with which I read this quote, I am encouraged by its words every time.

Earlier this year, I spoke with my students about the Baltimore riots. I searched for a tangible answer to give them, something concrete they could each do to try and help. It boiled down to "Speak up, and be kind." Sometimes that's all we can do, and it can feel so helpless and useless. But I don't think it is.

I believe we are all given a space in this world--a space we get to fill however we like. I choose to fill my space with beauty. With good vibes and laughter, with thoughtfulness and creativity. I am not one to fly across the globe and live in solidarity--I'm too scared. I very consciously made a decision not to go into politics (though I still wonder if I should). I chose to be an educator and an artist. And that's a good thing. My space in the world will be filled to the brim with light. My space will shine so bright, it will overcome the darkness surrounding it. And I choose to surround myself with other light-makers, so that together we might repel darkness. 

It is easy to grow discouraged with every headline, with every death count. I can't track down the extremists who did this. I can't change their minds. I can't heal the wounded. I can't even write a comprehensive blog post about my feelings. But discouragement is the weak choice. I choose the difficult course of perseverance in the face of destruction. I choose to do what I can. I choose to speak up, and be kind. I hope you do too.


"When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping."
Fred Rogers

Saturday, August 29, 2015

The Relativity of Time is a Funny Thing

Today is my 24th birthday, and I’m feeling oddly reflective. Birthday reflections are normal, I suppose, but this feels different. This is the first birthday in a while that has felt daunting. 
24
What a big age. I know in terms of relativity and future hindsight, I am still in my youth. I know my 30-, 40-, and 50-year old selves will look back on this, shake their heads, and softly chuckle. But right now 24 feels imposing. It is an age that is pushing me past childhood, much more so than my 18th birthday. 24 is a dividing line between my growing up years and my venture into adulthood. I miss the familiarity of routine that my college years offered, but I am hungry for the development of new patterns. I am pushing myself beyond my comfort zones, and it is paying off. I am finding out who I am apart from my family and friends. 
I think everyone should live someplace completely new at least once in their life. I have had to dig deep for courage and strength and rely on my own sheer will to just keep moving. I think I walk with my head a bit higher now, confident in the knowledge that I have a fire always burning inside. Despite their efforts, Circumstance and Doubt have not managed to extinguish it. With all that in mind, and with the hope that this post might serve as motivation for myself in the future, I have compiled a list of things I have learned, re-learned, and been reminded of over the last year.

24 Lessons I've (Re)Learned in the Last Year (In No Particular Order)


  1. I am worthy of love.
  2. I am skilled at my work.
  3. I love the line of work I am in.
  4. I am strong enough to stand on my own.
  5. I am stronger when I am with people I love.
  6. I am absolutely, unequivocally a Southwestern girl.
  7. Mountains stir my soul in a way no other landform can.
  8. My friends are wicked talented.
  9. Adventures, however small or grand, make me happy.
  10. Cooking for people is better than cooking for myself.
  11. Experimenting with flavors in the kitchen is fun and rewarding.
  12. I am bad at following through on non-"responsibility" tasks. This means things like keeping up with friends and family, relaxing, exploring, etc. fall by the wayside. I'd like to improve on this in the coming year.
  13. Of all the activities in which I take part, calling a show brings me the most consistent joy.
  14. I am braver than I believe.
  15. I am deeply loved.
  16. I have surrounded myself with a circle of people I love and trust.
  17. I am unwilling to let go of said people.
  18. The best adventures and lessons come when I allow myself to be surprised.
  19. My family is ridiculously supportive and loving. I am convinced I have one of the best in the world.
  20. I love to read and sing and laugh and dance.
  21. I have been granted a voice I should utilize more often.
  22. Who/what has power in my life is determined solely by me. An alteration in my frame of mind can make a world of difference.
  23. Risks almost always pay off. I have yet to regret something I have done more than something I haven't.
  24. I am blessed beyond measure.


Monday, August 10, 2015

Reunited, and It Feels SO Good!

August 10, 2015
Seattle Airport

The last 48 hours have been the best of the summer. I was reunited with my Buttercup, my beautiful Mamie. She and I have been through loads, and I absolutely adore her. When she tugged on my shirt from behind in an elevator filled with strangers, I unabashedly jumped on top of her and pulled her into an embrace. The volume of my squeal did not cross my mind, and I didn’t care at all what people thought of my less-than-demure display of affection for one of my best friends in the entire world. We ate breakfast together and the morning bled into afternoon. Mamie’s boyfriend Chris joined us and listened to my tales from Gloucester with (perhaps feigned) interest. Over the course of the day he received my official stamp of approval. And as if spending the day with Mamie wasn’t enough, we got to see two of our close friends marry each other.

I adore this woman!

Stephanie and Jonny each hold a very special place in my heart. Stephanie and I lived together for two years, and Jonny was one of my first and closest friends at NAU. And they fell in love and got married, and I’m so blessed to have witnessed it. The ceremony was beautiful and intimate, which meant Jonny and Stephanie actually got to spend time with all of their guests (what a concept!). Of course, Mamie was not the only NAU alum in attendance. We had a mini Lutheran Campus Ministry reunion, and it was wonderful to catch up in person.

The LCM crew!

And as if seeing my old friends wasn’t enough, all of this took place in beautiful Washington state. The landscape is breathtaking, and I cannot accurately describe the peace that settled over my soul when I was reunited with mountains and pine forests of grandeur. True, they’re not my Arizona mountains, but they are distinctly western all the same. Even seeing store names I recognized (Safeway, Wells Fargo) calmed me.

What a beautiful setting for a wedding!

The view from my hike in Point Defiance Park


It’s not as if I’m having a horrible time in Gloucester—not by a long shot. But moving to a new place without anyone I know, with no semblance of home or routine has been more difficult than I care to admit. I miss my people. And this weekend I got to see some of them. They really are my people. They know my story and I know theirs. More importantly, I love them, they love me, and we all know it. I’m not nervous around them, I don’t have to put on airs around them. Quite simply, I get to be myself. I laughed and smiled and loved more than I have since graduation. I needed this rejuvenation, and I am so grateful for it.


As a super-fantastic-bonus, I got to spend a few hours with my cousin Helen and her family. She cooked a delicious meal and it was so wonderful to spend time with family. Feeling truly blessed after this weekend’s adventures!

 Tacoma Narrows Bridge! I heard SO much about this bridge while I lived with Stephanie. I was very excited to cross it. (Don't document bridges while driving, folks.)


 Here lizard, lizard!!


 I think it's really cool that God took the time to make this beautiful place. If I didn't know about the Cascadia Subduction Zone, I would move here. But geological disasters freak me out.

Saturday, July 4, 2015

I shouldn't have to say this...

I understand the Confederate flag has been engrained into the culture of many people, particularly in the south. I understand it is a point of honor for some people because they believe it stands for "redneck pride". I also understand the Confederate flag is the primary symbol of one of the bloodiest conflicts in American history. It flew over the heads of men marching to defend the institution of slavery. I contend there were many factors involved in the Civil War, but the primary concern of the Confederacy was to maintain slavery in the south. The Confederate flag is one of the most identifiable images of the conflict; to deny that is pure ignorance.

Anger boils inside me when someone argues the Confederate flag has morphed into a symbol of something different, something more, than oppression and racism. Maybe there are other ideas attached to the flag, but it is utterly ridiculous to suggest that it is completely devoid of the deeply-rooted cultural implications under which it has always flown.

I understand having pride in where you come from, but I challenge you to look critically at the symbol behind which you stand. If you saw a Nazi flag flying over a government building, you would rightly associate that government with a period of terror, oppression, and the senseless, systematic obliteration of a specific group of people. Pause before you claim the Confederate flag is different. People of African descent were mistreated, beaten, lynched. The destruction of people was backed by economic and political motives. There is no denying African-Americans continue to suffer at the hands of a system pretending it was fixed decades ago.

Yes, progress has been made, but there is still much work to do. A large part of that work involves looking critically at the manner in which we discuss these issues and searching for concrete steps to improve the quality of life for all U.S. citizens. Removing the Confederate flag from government buildings is an important and powerful step. It symbolizes a shift in rhetoric and a recognition that tradition for tradition's sake must be examined. Fly the flag yourself if you must; you have freedom of expression. But please acknowledge what the flag symbolizes for others and take it into consideration before you shrug it off as people being "too sensitive" when it comes to "redneck pride".

Friday, June 19, 2015

In Defense of Megan Trainor

Common rhetoric has encouraged women to stay home, take care of the kids, and be a dutiful housewife. Women everywhere are rising up to say, “That’s not necessarily what I want.” Women everywhere are empowering each other to pursue their career goals, to own their sexuality, and to not give a damn. Great! Awesome! Wonderful! Power to the people!

But we have to be careful not to go too far. Just as I don’t want young girls to feel embarrassed for liking science or math, I don’t want young girls to feel embarrassed for wanting to be a stay-at-home mom. If feminism means the support of women breaking typical gender norms it also means the support of women who don’t want to “break the mold”. It’s okay not to want marriage or kids. It’s okay to want to stay home and take care of the family. I have a friend who just wants to be a housewife. While I don’t necessarily think she’s making the best decision, so what? Who am I to impose my beliefs on her? I’m not going to discourage her from going after what she really wants. If I did, I couldn’t call myself a feminist.

We have to stop adopting broad terms for short-range interpretations. Feminism is the empowerment of all people. It means we celebrate people who have a lot of sex and we celebrate people who are abstinent. We celebrate people who pursue a career over family and we celebrate people who pursue family over a career. We celebrate people who do both, and we don’t act shocked when they pull it off.

We don’t slut-shame. We don’t Mom-shame. We don’t shame.

If you’re claiming to fight for equality but shut down when someone else’s sense of self interferes with what you’ve decided the norm should be, you’re missing your own point.

So leave Megan Trainor out of it, all you critics calling her out for "Dear Future Husband". You don’t have to agree with everything she says. I don’t. But I’m also not going to censor her right to express herself. I choose to listen to other music that I find more empowering, but I will not take away something that speaks to someone else.

This is what feminism looks like:






Get on board.


Tuesday, February 10, 2015

An Open Lowly Apology to Kayla Mueller's Family

I didn't know your daughter, but I should have. And I am ashamed that I didn't. For months I have sat quietly in my hypocrisy, fully aware of what ISIS has been doing, but turning the other way out of fear. It was too hard to look at pictures of captives, hostages, deceased. I wasn't strong enough to look at the faces of the victims. Part of me thought, "Looking at these images gives ISIS power. It validates what they're doing." Now I know that avoiding the images is really what gives ISIS power. Because my ignorance turned to indifference.

I am sorry that I did not fight back. I'm not the type of person to travel to a war-torn zone and stand in solidarity with the people there. But I could have done other things. I could have prayed, or read, or written, or shouted. But I was afraid.


Your daughter was not afraid. And I know it won't bring her back, and I know she will leave the public spotlight in a few days, but please know that her incredible courage has strengthened me.


I didn't know your daughter, but I should have.

We attended the same university, worshipped in the same building, traveled to the same country. I didn't know your daughter, but I know people who did. I am sorry it took so long for me to wake up. I am sorry it took the issue hitting "close to home" for me to speak up. You have been struggling, you have been aware for over a year, me only a week.

I am sorry I haven't done enough. Because I didn't know your daughter, but I recognize her. I recognize her goodness and her strength as qualities I hope to portray. I recognize a peaceful, faithful spirit I hope to have. 


And moving forward, I hope promise strive to do better. Nothing I write can possibly ease your pain, but I send you all of God's grace and peace as you grieve. 


I didn't know your son, but I should have.

James Foley

I didn't know your brother, but I should have.
John Cantlie

I didn't know your father, but I should have.

Kenji Goto

I didn't know your daughter, but I should have.
Kayla Mueller

Anti-Racism Learning and Accountability Group

It's so easy to spend hours on social media absorbing information, but when I look up from my phone I haven't actually done anything...