Friendship, Anyone?

A brief memo on friendship, presented without qualifiers even though my insecurities are screaming at me to USE ALL OF THEM!! 

You know that feeling when you meet a really cool person, and you just want to wrap them in a big hug and scream, “Let’s be friends!!”

I experience it a lot working in theatre, particularly when I work with someone closer to my age. Working in theatre is strangely isolating, especially for stage managers (that’s an entire post in itself). You get thrown together with a small group of people for 6-8 weeks. You work together closely, sometimes sharing intimate details of your lives. Sometimes having meaningful conversations, laughing together, fighting together. You each pour all of your energy into this one story.

And then the show closes. You pack up, you say your goodbyes, and you see each other in passing (maybe) and you make plans for lunches that never happen. If you’re lucky, you work together again. Building friendship takes time. And we don’t have that luxury. By the time we’re really friends, we’re moving on to other projects. You’re stuck in this cycle of falling in love just to drift away.

Is there a way to prevent that? That’s not rhetorical. How do you create longevity in relationships shorter than a season of Game of Thrones?

I guess what I’m saying is, I want to be friends but I’m an introvert, and I just don’t know how. My insecurities tell me you don’t think the same of me and could never possibly be interested in furthering this relationship. They tell me to stay on the outskirts, not to infiltrate the family. They say I don’t belong.

So if you also find yourself feeling this way, raise your hand. And then let’s hang out over and over again until it sticks. Because frankly, life is just too damn short.